Friday, September 01, 2006

Jokes for Friday

Two men considering a religious vocation were having a conversation. "What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?" the one asked.

The second replied, "Well, they were both founded by Spaniards -- St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits. They were also both founded to combat heresy -- the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants."

"What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?"

"Met any Albigensians lately?"

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Frank goes to a Dominican priest. He asks the Dominican to pray a novena that he can get a Lexus. The Dominican asks "what's a Lexus?" Frank explains, and the Dominican declines to pray the novena for such a worldly intention.

So Frank goes to a Franciscan priest and asks him to pray a novena for Frank to get a Lexus. The Franciscan asks "what's a Lexus?" Frank explains, and the Franciscan declines to pray the novena for such a worldly intention.

So Frank goes to a Jesuit priest and asks him to pray a novena that he can get a Lexus. The Jesuit asks "what's a novena?"

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And to be fair there is, of course, the old Jesuit joke:

A Dominican and a Franciscan were having an argument about which of their orders was more pleasing to God. The Domincan naturally was arguing the case of the Friars Preachers, and the Franciscan was holding forth for the Friars Minor. Their discussion was getting heated, when they decided that divine intervention was the best thing, and so they prayed for a sign to end the quarrel.

Immediately, a dove descended from heaven with a slip of paper in its beak, dropped the paper, and flew off. "What does it say??" said the Dominican, eagerly. "Well", said the Franciscan. looking up from the paper, "it says "I love all of my devoted sons equally. And it's signed "God, S.J"."

4 comments:

young-philothea said...

hahaha ohh those were hilarious! a Benedictine told me this one regarding the Benedictines and Jesuits.

The communities are like stalks of wheat. In the Jesuit community, there are all these stalks and one of them grew higher than the rest, and the rest of the crop bows down to it. In the Benedictine community, there are all these stalks and one of them grew higher than the rest...then abbot comes and chops it off.

UIOGD

Acolytus said...

A Jesuit got a train and looking round for a spare seat found one in a cabin occupied by a Dominican and not so politely sat down. To the friar the Jesuit said “well, a Dominican… Order of Preachers hay?” “yes that’s correct” replied the wise and scholarly priest. “well then” continued the Jesuit “I suppose that makes you a great preacher then, why I bet you could preach on any theological subject you like at the drop of a hat then ?” he asked sarcastically. “why don’t you try me?” retorted the Preacher, now becoming irate. “well then, how about you give us a sermon on ‘the first thing that came into Our Lord’s mind when he opened his eyes at the nativity’.” “OK then” the Dom took a breath and cracked his knuckles, “when our Lord was born the first thing he felt was the love of his Mother, he knew is all to well, he had known that from before she was born and so with no thought of it at all, at all, he rested in her arms and opened his little eyes. They adjusted to the light and wonder field his mind as the incarnation really made itself felt, but no real though yet entered is mind. Though divine, this human child started to grasp of things as they where, and looking around, he saw creatures abroad, the Ox and the Ass did he see. ‘Well then’ he said, finally, ‘this must be the Society of Jesus!’”

JoanW said...

Loved the stories, especially the second one which I haad not heard before, so have added it to my collection.

aaron said...

Thanks acolytus. There is also the one about the Op, Franciscan and the SJ in a fishing boat. But I'll leave that one 'till next friday maybe.